Nothing is the same, don't get me wrong, I can deal with change but this is different, this hurts. Oh, I know that change hurts sometimes but...this is different.
I tried getting lost in a fiction book last week, hoping the hurt wouldn't return, wouldn't find its way back after the passing of a few more days. I thought that once I got my sweet peace from God that I could move on and that since healing had begun nothing would creep back in to steal my joy.
I still got enjoyment from serving my family, in being with them, loving them...but there's this dark cloud hovering about, reminding me that things can never go back to the way they used to be.
"Be still...be still and know that I am God." "Take every thought captive..." My greatest comfort and reprive comes only from the word of God.
-- I was doing so well...at least I thought I was...but then it seemed like everyone else had returned to the normal way of things and I was just stuck. Stuck on the outside looking in, not being able to return to it but not really moving forward either...because it's not time yet. Not time to begin that chapter yet, I can see glimpses and I anticipate what things will be like when we start to write that first page.
"From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Lord, I will try to be patient and wait for You to lead, to guide us through this next journey in our lives. Help me to focus on what You are teaching me so I can take it and honor You. Keep reminding me Jesus - I know You are on the throne and that You love me.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord." "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
*scripture references - Psalm 46:10a, 2 Cor. 10:5, Psalm 61:2, Isaiah 55:8, Romans 8:28 NKJV
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