Make Jesus Famous

This post is going to hurt…

Right now, my children are not in love with Jesus, it’s heartbreaking because I know how wonderful He is and how worthy He is and how much my boys are missing out on.

My boys are good boys, they aren’t out partying and carousing and doing the things that rebellious teenagers and 20 somethings do; they are usually at home, spending time with each other and with their crazy parents, they are going to church because they know we want them to, they are bowing their heads when we pray over dinner, they are going through the motions but have vocalized their doubts and maybe even unbelief.

And it makes this mom wonder…did I show my kids what it looks like to make Jesus #1?

There’s a difference between teaching them and showing them.  We’ve said all most of the right things, put them in the programs (Sunday School, Awana, Youth Group), sent them to camp and on mission trips.  But what about the other things?  Did we give up that basketball game or team so we could pursue Christ more?  Did we say ‘no’ to Music events, school plays, school activities that coincided with church events?  Did we make excuses for the birthday parties, the golf match, the once-in-a-life-time opportunity? Even if these activities aren’t on Sundays…did it consume all the other days so we had nothing else?  It seemed that we started out with “good” intentions to keep Christ first in every part of our lives and then what’s his name is really good at this and he is getting a lot of recognition for this or that and it’s only a couple of times a year this is going to happen and slowly these things become important somehow…how did this become #1 in my child’s life?  Wait…how did it not? I was at every match cheering him on, telling him he could do all things through Christ, give God the glory, praise Him when you win and praise Him when you lose.  And those are good things…right?  Yes, they are...I tried to teach them things along the way about grace and mercy.... But we put so much importance on doing well and competition (everything is a competition) that defeat and losing are not in our vocabulary and we become consumed with being the best, winning, and before you know it…there’s not room for anything or anyone else.

We fool ourselves and take for granted that God is constant and that if we miss a couple of times every now and then it’s not really going to have an impact on my spiritual walk.  Now, I’m not trying to be legalistic, God’s grace is sufficient.  I’m pointing out that when we put more emphasis on the worldly things (even though they are fun and even make us proud) then we are going to lose something.  That something will be time spent with our Lord, time spent hearing and reading His Word, time spent in fellowship with believers, time spent pursuing Christ and knowing Him more.  Because, in the end, none of this matters, only Jesus…  It doesn’t matter if my kid was prom king or the hall monitor or the star athlete…it’s about the Kingdom.  Did I make Jesus famous? So famous that they wanted to be like Him, know Him, love Him more than anything this world could ever offer?

These are the things you look back on when your kids are grown and you wonder where the time went.  Yes, I wish I would have done more to point them to Christ and I wish I would have cut out some of the things that eventually would consume a lot of their time.  Where do I go from here?  “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23  An awesome reminder of the amazing Savior I serve.  My boys are going to come back to the Lord, God has given me a great gift of peace about this and I am so thankful.  I will continue to speak truth into their lives and love them like Jesus.  I cannot save them but I can point them to the One that can and I will do that with every part of my life.

Parenting Tip #5

This is a must-have tip for all parents.

Circumstances will arise where you will not be able to bring do not want to bring your children or do not want to pick up your child at a ridiculously late hour.

Example:  A lovely woman at church called me recently and asked if her son could spend the night with us since they live a long way away from the activity that our youth were going to and it was going to be a really late night and the next day was Sunday, etc. etc.  Actually, she was really sweet, didn't want to ask but kinda did want to but didn't want to offend, ya know.  Well, of course we said yes, it really wasn't a big deal at all.  And it cracked me up, as you can tell, she is much sweeter than I am.

The tip is...do not feel as though this is such a faux pas.  It may seem like you are imposing on someone else or that this is not proper etiquette.  Who cares?  I used to, but then we did need someone for our kids so we just told our boys to find someone to stay the night with on such and such a day and they did, and don't worry, we approved of where they were going.  We've actually done this a couple times with other families that have needed the same kind of thing, a safe place for their child to be until they found the time to they could be picked up.  I think that what we are more caught up with is that we don't want to say "No".  If I felt I really couldn't have handled another person in our home on that particular night I would have just said so and she would not have felt slighted one little bit (she actually said, "it's okay to say no"). 

And ya know what??? It is.

Parenting Tip #4

Now this is advice we can all use.  Somebody else.  Yes, sometimes we can use somebody else to parent our children!  As some may know, our young son has problems picking out girlfriends.  We already went through this last summer with tears, etc.  But this one got nipped in the bud thanks to a dear friend. Anyway, last week we had VBS and son #2 met a girl, also helping with VBS, and took a liking to her.  Unbeknownst to me they were soon girlfriend and boyfriend.  Then last Sunday night at Youth, son #2 just wasn't his quirky, funny self and it irritated me.  Nobody should change the way they are for somebody else.  Well, our lovely friend felt the same and had a short and loving chat with son #2 about being unequally yolked, that sort of thing.  He seemed kind of somber after that but snapped out of it quickly.

Last night at the dinner table he said he broke up with the young lady after the talk Miss "what's her face" had with him.  He said "what's her face" was a good girl (she's 21).  He has a lot of respect for "what's her face" and it really made an impact on him.  It's not quite the same as old mom and dad telling him what's good for him.  We really can make a difference in the lives of others if we just pay attention and care.  Thanks "what's your face", you're an angel :)

Parenting Tip #3

Children & Cellphones

When Christian started 7th Grade he decided he wanted to play football and we decided to get him a cell phone.  Oh, it'll be great, he can call us if practice has changed or when he will be back from the away games we don't attend, that kind of thing.  Everything worked out pretty good, he didn't get into trouble with it at school and wasn't calling people or texting them at all hours of the day and night.

We do, however, have this rule that when they go to bed, their phones are to be left with us.  And that we have the right to look at any text messages, etc. on their phone.

During the summer before Christian's 8th grade year, he started 'socializing' with a young lady.  I knew this young lady, very sweet, strong faith...so James and I approved.  At this time Christian had a 200 text message limit per month and free nights and weekends for phone calls (those start at 9 pm).  At 9:01 most nights, girlfriend would call and he would leap from the family room for some privacy.  We just kind of giggled at them, it was no big deal.  Christian did go over 200 text message a few times and had to pay up or work it off and then eventually we got unlimited texting and he started running into the thousands of text messages...whew, just in time.  We never found anything unappropriate on his phone and I randomly checked to avoid the just in case deletion of messages.

Now, on to the summer before Cameron's 7th grade year.  Cameron gets a phone, he is very excited...texts messages everyone and anyone who will let him and maybe some who won't.  He was asking grown ups at church if they had a cell phone and if they said yes...Game On!  He would get their number, I finally had to put a stop to it, he asked a senior lady at church for her cell phone number and I said "Cameron, she probably doesn't text...no texting her!"  "Okay", he said.  I would hear of people casually making comments about getting a random text message from Cameron, most of the time we would laugh about it.  He was obsessed!  Our cell phone mayhem doesn't end there, I found a few text messages that he sent when he was mad at I or James about something...now that hurt.  But when he got a girlfriend during 7th grade, it was really crazy...I would find things like "love you baby" and other equally disgusting things.  (*to learn more about that read parenting tip #2)  Well a breakup later and being busy all summer and he has forgotten all about his phone.  He doesn't care about it anymore and neither do we...so I am going to take his number off his plan, save a few bucks, and just let him borrow someone else's phone when he's off playing a basketball game that is too far to drive to and wants to let us know when he will be arriving back at school so we can come pick him up.

Parenting Tip #2

Don't allow your child to "date" or be "boyfriend or girlfriend" to a nonbeliever.

Nip this in the bud, we as Christians know that we should not be dating someone that doesn't share your faith (being unequally yoked). This has been a hard lesson for our youngest son and for us. We wanted him to make his own decision regarding this girl, they are only 13 for crying out loud, but he really liked this young lady and was determined to hold on to her. He invited her to church, she came a couple times, he talked to her about salvation - and he is really bold, he gave her a fire and brimstone message, he prayed for her. He kept at her and she told him she was a christian but her life has not reflected that decision and we knew that she just wasn't the girl for him (not that any is at this age but that is not the point for this particular story). We talked to him on several occasions about what God's word says about this but he was clinging to the hope that she really knew Jesus.

We prayed for our son to come to this realization, we really wanted him to make this decision on his own, wanted him to "get it". We were getting ready to attend a youth camp in Springfield and I was praying that God would speak to our son. The very first night both preachers spoke about this very subject! I was thrilled, thank you Lord! We could tell God was working on our boy's heart, the conviction was definitely there. James talked with him about what God was dealing with him about and he said he felt God was telling him that he needed to end his relationship with *said young lady*. We thought, yes, this is it! Not that she is a bad girl in any way, she is very sweet and likable. Well, unfortunately, Cameron did not follow through with what God had asked of him and their "relationship" continued.

After we got home from camp, we sat down with Cameron and talked about the week and what God had shown him about his relationship. Cameron said he wanted to give every area of his life to Christ and really do what God wanted him to do. There were tears shed, not telling who, ha and Cameron broke up with *said girl*. This was very difficult for him and we really recognized how hard this was for him.

To be continued...

Parenting Tip #1

Over the years I have learned many things about parenting. I haven't always made the best decisions regarding this issue but have learned, discovered, and changed things throughout.
I have now decided to share these with which you may not agree but that's okay.

These tips are in no particular order and may vary in nature...

#1 - Never let your child (who has been raised to love God and the things of God) go to a secular birthday party.

Experience - Last night I let Cameron go to a friend's birthday party at the Community Building in our town. There were parents there, the party was supposed to go from 6 to 10 but I told the parents and Cameron that I would pick him up around 8. (The 8 part was a good choice) When I arrived I spyed disturbing things...children, my own son's age, were making out outside the building and another smoking! Ah!!! I said to myself "this will never happen again!" I went inside to get Cameron out of there and viewed nothing too crazy, there were cousins and brothers of the birthday girl there playing musical chairs and such but loud music and it was dark and I'm sure they weren't playing God honoring songs (now I was thinking "what is wrong with me?") I got Cameron to the car and he said "I wish I would have went home with you instead of coming here, it was boring" he went on to say that everyone was surprised he came because his parents were so strict. I told him we are just trying to protect him and then asked if he thought we were strict. He said "no, I don't think you're strict, their parents are just wreckless." Sweet victory! I loved it because it's true. But I somewhat regret letting him go even though he didn't get involved in anything weird but am glad that he can see he's not missing out on anything.