Joy in the Small Things....or Weird Things

If you know me, then you know I'm easily amused.  Like I've said before and so has many others...I laugh all the time, I love to laugh!...especially at myself.  I think I'm hilarious, moreso than most other people but who cares.

I was recently shown the app "Dubsmash", it is a lip syncing app.  It gives you short clips (sentences or phrases), song lyrics, etc and you lip sync with them.  Sounds easy enough but I am really not that good at them but they crack me up nonetheless.  Here's a brief example:

https://youtu.be/aO17Pnp_pnI

I told you I'm not that great at it...but here's me trying to do another one, James thought he'd be funny and record me in the process.

https://youtu.be/2aZsIG7qy-g

There you have it, another time waster (which I do not waste time doing a lot, just once in a great while) it's a good pick me up if you're having a rough day ;)

A Captured Heart

I am in the midst of back to back services/events (7 in 6 days).  Due to circumstances beyond my control it ended up this way and that's ok.  Yes, I am tired...and vocally challenged but yesterday God overwhelmed me with His goodness, His faithfulness, and I am thankful, blessed really, to be doing what I'm doing and once again in awe of how He works.  Jesus captured my heart yesterday in so many ways.  Through the preaching of the Word yesterday morning, to being allowed to lead people in the praise and worship of Him, to be able to share of His gift of salvation and the continued sanctification process in my own heart and life.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

God is revealing so many things to me, He wants so much more for us than we allow Him to give.  He wants our hearts...completely focused and surrendered to Him.  We get so caught up in doing, going, checking our boxes...and suddenly we are going through the motions instead of living each moment in anticipation of what He is going to do, can do and will do when we come before Him with a captured heart, a broken and contrite heart.  A heart for His purpose for us, a heart for the lost, a heart that sees people hurting and stops to see them instead of passing by or giving a quick fix. When did we (Christians) become so apathetic?  When we start telling ourselves that it is not our problem or our job to share the story of Jesus...then there's an issue.

Let's get caught up in Jesus, in His love, His grace, His mission.

I Marvel

I wrote my 5th song yesterday...I've been walking around with the words I marvel in my head. Those are the only words I had prior to sitting down to write but I love the word marvel, Jesus used it, others used it. It means be filled with wonder, astonishment. The greatest thing that fills me with wonder and astonishment is the work of Christ on the cross for me, his sacrificial death, his resurrection...that's what I marvel at. Why this perfect, Holy God would come to this cruel world, be mocked, rejected, and die a horrific death for you and for me when He really didn't have to...He did it willingly because of His great love for us.  I can't even begin to comprehend that kind of love and when in the tiniest way I try to understand it, it overwhelms me and I weep at the thought of it.  So as I wrote the lyrics to this song, I wept, I sobbed, I was overwhelmed...I hope I never get over Jesus dying for me.

"I Marvel" by Christy Hoagland

Verse 1
The cross of calvary, You bore for me
You saved me from myself, from the enemy
You willingly took my place, You suffered, died, in disgrace
And through Your grace and mercy, You set me free

Chorus
And I marvel, at Your sacrifice
I'm filled with wonder, why You'd give Your life
For me, this sinner, why You bled and died
Your great love for me, I'm still amazed by
It astonishes me
How You saved me, how You changed me
A mystery
How You love me, how You keep me

Verse 2
To understand the cross of Christ, no one will know
God wrapped in flesh, crucified, the debt we owe
Holy Spirit, Father, Son, Almighty King, the Holy One
Died and rose again to give us hope

Chorus

Verse 3
Life was given in Your glorious victory
My guilt and shame washed away in misery
You conquered darkness and the grave
What an awesome price You paid
And in You, risen Lord, gave me eternity!

Chorus

Change Your Perspective

After my pity party on September 7 that trickled into the 8th...I attended a fundraising banquet for a pregnancy crisis center. They asked me to provide music during dinner this was a first for me) but everything went well. I sat down and they introduced the guest speaker, Melissa Ohden. Melissa survived a saline infused abortion, she spoke eloquently of her love and forgiveness for her birth mother and everyone involved that wanted to take her life. It was powerful, Christ was magnified and it really put things in perspective for me. Here I was being human and pitiful the last couple of days when I should be rejoicing because of the life God has given me. I was once again reminded of what a mighty God I serve and to embrace the calling He has placed on my life. Thank You, Jesus, for every opportunity to serve You, to declare who You are through song, through the gifts You have given me. Help me to never take that for granted.

Despising My Humanness

September 7, 2016
    Struggling today...I don't know if it's hormones or what but I feel down, restless, unproductive, and I hate it.  Today is one of those days when I want my job back - I'm used to being busy, consumed with too many things to do and so many things going on around me.  This stillness is getting to me but maybe...maybe it's a wake up call to get on my face and seek the Lord more. John chapter 8 talks about the truth and it also talks about the father of lies, the devil. I need to be on guard and not listen to the enemy's lies.  I need to be able to discern truth from lie and in order to know I have to abide in the Word.  I am thankful for God's Word today, everyday. Thank You for Your peace, Jesus!

September 8, 2016
     Wide awake at 2 am...again. I don't really know what's wrong with me, why am I not sleeping? There have been a few times that I've went back to sleep without too much of a struggle or being awake too long. This time I thought I'd get up and write and seek the Lord. I don't know if I can pinpoint a reason - I trained my job replacement last week and on Tuesday, could that be it? It's been so strange and overwhelming to let go of my job, come back to it and then let it go again. I've had moments of "should I have stayed" and if I'm really honest, I've had moments of not wanting to fulfill any of my upcoming worship engagements (except prison, that's where my heart is). How did this even all come about? Sometimes I feel like I'm in a whirlwind, grasping for something to hold on to, waiting for God to give me some revelation so I'll get focused again. Maybe it's hormones or PMS? Heck, I don't know. Maybe the enemy is trying to sidetrack me from what I'm called to do. I have moments of discontentment and God reminds me how blessed I am. How foolish I am at times, I hate my humanness. I simply need more time with Him, He will give me the peace I need for every moment, every trial, every situation and circumstance, and even every menial thing in my life.

    I went back to bed and am now up for the day...reading, praying, meditating. My own words mock me, I am always telling men and women who are incarcerated to use their time to get closer to Jesus; read, study, pray. And here I am whiling away my days wondering how to make them full and how to make them count. Another case of practice what you preach, walk your talk, etc. I am so thankful that God's mercies are new every morning, today is a new day to begin again and chase after my redeemer, to focus on Him and not my pitiful self. And hopefully it's a while before that stinkin' human rears its ugly head again.

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out."  Romans 7:15-18