Long Journey Home

I went to Mardi Gras again this year on a mission trip and I met a man named Dean, he was a new addition this year from the Branson group that we partner with.  He has been completely transformed by the gospel and it beamed from him, I was drawn to him.  I asked him if I could share his story on my blog and he said, of course.

From the gates of Hell to the Grace of God

By Rocky (Dean) Proctor

aka Dogface

There have been a lot of things happen in these past few years.  I feel it necessary before I go further to say some things on behalf of my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus.  For without Him there is no doubt in my mind I would not be here writing this story, which by the way is a true one.

The fact that I still have a working mind, with brain cells that still work if proof beyond measure of what God has created, and what He has done for me.

At this moment, I am sitting in a federal prison cell.  I have been locked up for the past five years.  For some of you readers it might be hard to understand how a man in this situation could come from the heart when he says "I'm blessed and highly favored."

There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for taking a hand in my life.  The Bible tells us, He will not leave you or forsake you.  My name is Rocky Dean Proctor, and I am living proof, that is true.

When I was a young man, of my own free will, I chose drugs (all of them I could get my hands on), alcohol (all I could drink), and all the other hazards that come with a fast and hard life.  I stayed on that path for more than thirty years.  The paths it took me down, the places Ihave been and seen, I would not with on anyone.

Over the past thirty years, I have found myself addicted to and hooked on every form of "speed and/or methamphetamine," that has been made in the United States.  I am not real proud of this fact but I am being honest and this is a true story.

I have smoked it, inhaled it and mixed it in a spoon.  And over the years, I have "shot" literally pounds of it.  Through all of those times, God has been with me.  Praise the Lord!  I have said it before and I will say it again:  "It's not over until God says it's over and not one moment sooner."  This is why I believe in my heart, I am still alive, and daily, I thank the Lord for my life, the lives of my family and loved ones.  I pray and will continue to ask, and make myself available to Him.  The Lord has truly spared my life.

I have talked to many people since 2001, many of who have accepted Christ Jesus as their personal Savior.  I will gladly share my experiences with anyone who will listen.  My message is that there is a better life, you can have true happiness, it is a gift to you, and it is free.  But the price paid, was paid in blood and flesh, for they nailed my Jesus to a tree.

It is a very personal relationship I have with the Lord.  He is more than just a story or a religion to me.

In 2001, I found myself surrounded by the Federal government, facing drug charges.  My addiction and life style had finally came to a screaming halt.  I hit so hard and fast it was more like a train wreck, than an arrest.

This has been an almost 20 year long, non stop run.  My health was gone and my wife was almost dead.  Our life was over.  Our marriage was a mess, the drugs and alcohol had finally won the race, or had they?

It may sound anyway you want to take it but I am not trying to impress you.  I am just being honest with you.

Most people try to do it on their own and nearly every single one of them have failed.  And.  In most cases by the time they realize this, if they do before it kills them, then, and then alone, will they cry out to God.

I was no exception in that aspect.  I was, however, an exception to God.  He has saved my life, my marriage, my soul, my children and every single person who has asked for His Mercy and has accepted His Grace.  Everyone I know, who has called on the name of the Lord, both those individuals and their families are doing great, they have been healed of their addictions.  Once again, I say praise the Lord.

When a person shows up without even so much as their hat in their hand, how are you going to treat them?\

That is how I came back home to my Jesus, on my knees.  My legs were swollen to twice their size, the veins were all shot out of my arms, legs, and hands.  The blood was literally running down my arms.

This is not easy to write, and to most everyone who knows me this will be the first time much of my story has every been told or heard.

I have decided to look back this one last time.  Not because I miss it, because as God is my witness, I do not.  But to look it in the eye.  I have always thought that was important and still do.

Being in federal prison, needing serious medical treatment, is a lot like being homeless with no health insurance.  I have been in both situations, at least on the street you can go to an emergency room and they will treat you, not so here in federal prison despite the stories you have heard.

I want to talk to you about the healing power of God.  The human body is wonderfully made.  God made no mistakes.  However, it can be destroyed.  That is where I was when I called on the Lord.  Black and blue, and in a pile.

When I arrived here at this prison in 2002 I weighed 289 pounds.  I am 5 feet 6 inches tall.  I could barely walk, but by the Grace of God I was still on my feet, barely.  The last thing I had done before being brought here was talk to the Chaplain and the Christian Administrator of the Green County Jail, Mr. Frank Reynolds and Mr. Charlie Cameron.  I had been studying the Bible with them there for the past 14 months while I awaited trial.  They knew my story; we had many long talks about God and life.  They knew I had been baptized when I was a child and that I had spent my whole adult life back sliding.

I want to get something straight here.  I love the Lord, and I know now where I stand with Him.  But at the time, I was unsure on some issues, so I asked their advice.  They are both men of God, of that I was sure.  I wanted to rededicate my life to Jesus, to be baptized again as an adult.  But was not sure if that was proper.  After talking to both of them, they assured me that it would be proper if I was a sinner, and I surely was.  So a couple of months before I was sentenced by the federal government, I was baptized as an adult.  That has been over 4 years, and even being in prison, I will have to say I feel truly free, spiritually free and in 4 more years, Lord willing, I'll be physically free.  Home with my wife and family.

Since I had been locked up, the Lord has allowed me to be part of one of the greatest things every to happen in my life.  My wife has accepted Jesus as well.  We now read the Bible and worship God together.  That may not sound like much to some folks but most folks have not been as far gone as we were.  It is both a blessing and an honor to be in the presence of the Lord as man and wife.

Amen.