Kindergarten Komics - Subbing for Kindergarten is very exhausting, they are so high maintenance but they still have resttime, thank you Lord. I recently subbed for a very spirited group of kindergarten students, it was "Pajama Day" so they were more excitable than ever! One student in particular was only in my class for part of the day, he goes to a special class for his regular class time. At the end of the day is 'Show & Tell' time, Johnny (name has been changed to protect the innocent), said he had show & tell, so I said okay, meanwhile the other students were just shaking their heads whispering 'no he doesn't'. I let him go last because most of the time I don't know who is telling me the truth about who has what or what is supposed to be happening. Okay Johnny, your turn! He came proudly to the front of the room started digging in his backpack, he reached in to pulled a piece of paper out and said "I've got Homework!" The other kids just stared with blank expressions on their faces so Johnny said "Clap for me", they all began to clap and cheer which was really sweet. This is a good story but little did I know the day before was actually little Johnny's Show & Tell day and that he tried to show something much more interesting. You see, earlier the day before he had a quite messy #2 accident, he got cleaned up and his soiled clothes were put into a plastic bag in his backpack. Well, much to his surprise when it came time for Show & Tell, he had something in his backpack to show. He started taking that plastic sack out of his backpack and his teacher yelled "NOOOOOOooo!" Whew, glad I dodged that one! On a side note: there was a cute blonde headed little boy in this class and his name was Chris Farley! I about died, he was pretty ornery too.
First Grade Frustrations - This particular day had an array of various events. At the start of the day one little boy told me he had a nose bleed that morning and that it might happen again. Then another little girl kept asking me questions about her math and this big snot bubble kept bulging every few seconds, of course, I told her to get a tissue. Later at lunch all the girls were in an uproar saying another little girl stole Gabby's watch (yes these are still first graders). I walked the kids back to the room and kept the two girls involved in the hall to talk to them. I asked the victim her version of the story and then the alleged thief. She said she had the same watch. I told her I would call her mother and she said "Actually, it is a friend of mine that lives far away", I said "Give her back the watch and tell her you're sorry", she did. A little later another girl came to me holding out her cupped hands saying "I threw up", I told her to go to the nurse and for someone else to please get the door! She came back a few minutes later and said "The nurse is at lunch so I just washed my hands", I told her to go to the office, they sent her home and the janitor came and cleaned up, I definitely don't get paid enough for that. The nose bleeder did indeed have another nose bleed but it was minor. Then, right as the kids were getting on their coats and backpacks to go home, a little girl said she couldn't find her jacket. We were searching everywhere then somebody mentioned the thief from earlier in the day. Well of course I couldn't just call her out so I said "Just in case it accidentally got into someone else's backpack let's all opened them up and I will run down the line and check". I got to the little suspect and she was standing with her backpack still on and her back to the wall and she said "You don't have to look in mine, I'm telling you the truth, it's not in there". Well, wouldn't you know, there it was!
Art Class Accident - I was subbing for the Art teacher in a small school district, the high school and grade school is connected so the Kindergarteners had to walk a long way to get to the Art room, which is located in the high school, to get there. The class went pretty smoothly until the last 5 minutes, a student asked to use the restroom. Well, there were only 5 minutes left and it was a long way back to the grade school and his teacher would surely be there any minute so I asked him to wait. He didn't make a fuss so I paid it no mind until I saw his pants start to change colors...I yelled 'Go, hurry, run' who knows what else. Poor little kid, he was probably traumatized by this event and since then I always let the younger students use the restroom no matter how far away it is.
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