"His" Faith - Part 2

The end of Summer...time to go back to college and return to the "world".  Christian went to church with us a few times (no, we didn't force him to go) whether that was a mistake or not...I don't know, he is 19 years old and we still wanted him to own "his" faith.  He did attend a revival that James preached a couple weeks into the Summer, I saw conviction all over his face.  That was a blaring sign of hope for me :)  My gracious Father and Lord gave me glimpses into Christian's heart and I could see that he didn't really have doubts, he was being rebellious which had been my suspicion when we first talked.  He was a sweet kid all Summer, he wasn't out partying or reeking havoc; he was living for himself.

I took him back to college on move-in day, it was just he and I.  To my dismay, I looked around and saw that I was helping him move into a fraternity.  I wasn't pleased, it looked like trouble.  That along with PMS did not do my heart good.  We had one last thing to get before I went back home so we jumped in my car and headed to Wal-Mart.  Then the tears began to roll, Christian's reaction was one of surprise and he began to ask me what was wrong, if I was okay.  I felt like I was throwing him to the wolves.  I told him I was concerned about his decisions and the consequences those might have, yada yada.  When we got back I looked him in the face and said "I know you know the truth, I've seen it all over you all Summer long and you're going to come around".  I told him I was going to pray with him whether he liked it or not and we both kind of chuckled.  He held on to my hands and I prayed with him and for him.  He said "amen", which is an acknowledgment to me that he does indeed know the truth.  I then told him I was going to pray for his roommate's salvation.

I think my son is running, running from God, running from his calling that God placed on his life when he was only 13.  But I have my Lord's promises that my son will come back to Him.  In the meantime, I wait on the Lord, I trust Him, and I will be Jesus to my son as long as it takes.

"Thus says the Lord:
“Keep your voice from weeping,
    and your eyes from tears,
for there is a reward for your work,
declares the Lord,
    and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.
 There is hope for your future,
declares the Lord,
    and your children shall come back to their own country." Jeremiah 31:16-17

"His" Faith - Part 1

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

I could see some compromises in my child's life, although small, they were still there and it troubled me.  He had just finished his freshman year of college and was home for the Summer.  Don't get me wrong, he is a great young man but I was concerned he wasn't following the Lord as closely as he used to be and the world was crowding in on him.  I saw an opportunity to have dinner with just the two of us, dad and little brother were off doing something else so I sought the Lord on how to approach this needed discussion with my son.

I made the two of us dinner and just simply began.  "How is your relationship with Jesus?" I asked.  He started with "not as good as it should be" and then began to tell me about doubts he was having, that he believed in a creator but wasn't really sure about anything else, that there are a lot of other things out there.

I. was. devastated.  This was not what I had expected.  The tears began to fall as I tried to hold it together.  I talked to him about the evidence of Christ and the testimony of His power in my life and the lives of others.  He said he was still a moral person and I told him that only Jesus is good and it's only Him that makes us moral or good that without Him we are nothing.  I can't remember all the things I said to him, I only know my heart ached for my boy, for his doubts, his lack of faith at this time in his life, for the consequences this would bring for him.  I asked him if he would read "More Than a Carpenter" and he said that he would.

He hugged me and went to watch tv or something, I went upstairs and cried out to God.  I asked at least 30 people I knew to pray for my son.  The response from others was encouraging, there seemed to be a theme forming..."his faith", when he figures this out he will own his faith, it will be "his" faith, he will have no more doubts or fears, he will know and he will come out better on the other side.  As his mother, I don't want him to suffer while he's going through this.  But isn't that selfish thinking?  God has a purpose and plan for him and it may indeed include some pain to mold him into who He wants him to become.

God gave me peace, an assurance that this does have a happy ending.  God is faithful, God is trustworthy.  And I trust Him.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

Freedom for the Captives

This is our Celebrate Recovery Band, we've gone to three prisons in Missouri so far to do Praise and Worship Concerts for the inmates.  It is awesome and humbling and I'd do it every weekend if I could.  A bonus is that we, the band, have an awesome time together.  We play a few songs and then the gospel is proclaimed through one of the men from Recovery Prison Ministry tell the inmates about Jesus and then we'll play a few more, usually one of the inmates that has come to Christ shares sometime during as well.  It is an amazing thing to see 100 or so men on the inside praising Jesus Christ unashamed.  Free indeed.

 

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners.

Isaiah 61:1

Sing to the Lord with Thanksgiving

For the past 3 and some odd years I have been singing on my church's worship team.  There have been many changes throughout those three+ years but none such as the last 6 months.  Last August we needed a worship leader, I volunteered.  And with much help from a friend that was leading our church's Celebrate Recovery band on Monday evenings began leading worship on Sunday mornings.

It was a lot more work than I had anticipated, I listened to too many songs to count, scheduled the songs, people for singing, playing, sound, lyrics, etc etc...We had the occasional hiccup but nothing too drastic, God is so good, He humbled me and held me.  Taught me so many things spiritually and musically. 

I started this post in January or February so this is referring to August thru December 2013.  Now I will finish it, lol!  In January my church hired a Worship Pastor.  I was very excited about it, I was ready to learn some new things and boy have I ever.  I cannot even begin to describe the work Christ has done in my heart and life this last year, but I can try. 

Last August we needed a keyboard player and a lovely teenage girl stepped up to play, she had just learned how to chord and was willing to serve the Lord with her talents.  She taught me a lot, watching her made me realize I could probably learn to do that or teach myself how to somewhat.  If you know me very well then you know I don't play the piano very well, I love to play but usually only pull out my piano music around Christmas time.  I have sang and played (easy hymns) at small churches where James has preached but only those easy hymns that I have practiced ahead of time.  Anyway, I played keys a couple of times for Celebrate Recovery last Fall and then played the very last Sunday morning in December which was a shock to everyone, including me.  Since then, our new Worship Pastor has challenged and stretched me both on playing keys and vocally.  I have learned so much from him not only musically but he has taught me spiritually as well how to lead worship, how to prepare for worship, and more.  Last month, (July) our Worship Pastor, Mark, took some of the worship team to the National Worship Leaders Conference.  What an awesome experience, I was blessed beyond measure, learned so much and have already put into practice some of the things I learned there.  God is so good to me, He is showing me how to use my gifts and talents for Him in ways I never knew I would be able to...He is simply amazing.

I'm a loser...

This is really ridiculous.  It seems I only blog every several months now and since it's been so long I feel like I have to play catch up and tell you about everything that's happened in that long span of time. So.....am I going to do that this time???  Nope.  But I will start blogging again...won't I?