Transitions

My life is transitioning...some exciting, some scary, some just are...my baby boy will graduate from high school next month, my oldest boy is living on his own being all grown up, my mama is walking through difficult health issues, I just applied to seminary to work on a Certificate in Worship Ministry, and there are more things around the corner.  God is doing some molding on me and I feel vulnerable.  I have been brave, I have been weak, I have been encouraging and encouraged, I have wept, I have been confident, I have felt insecure, I have prayed for God to lead me through all these things and He is and I am thankful.  I am trusting Him.  I feel He is opening doors and closing others which is amazing and frightening, frightening because I am so human.  I'm eager to embark on this journey of new things, even the hard things because I know God will show Himself more and more to me and I will grow closer to Him especially through the difficult things.

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak". Matthew 26:41b

I feel like this pretty much sums up how I've been feeling and that portion of that scripture came right to mind but I looked up where to find it and was reminded of its instruction from our Lord.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41

Watch and pray.

I will keep my eyes on Jesus, watch for the snares of the enemy of self-pity, doubt, fear or those that will draw me away from God's calling, and I will continue to pray, pray for leading, clarity, to be used however my Lord wants to use me, and I will pray for His peace.

It's Not About Me, It's All About Him

Every once in a while I scribble a small X on my wrist.  A couple people have seen it and asked me 'why do you have an X on your wrist?'  And I explain...and even though it is a good discussion starter it isn't the reason I do it, it's not for them...it's for me.

The X is a visual reminder that 'it's not about me', sure some might get something tattooed like this or something else but I feel that if I intentionally write it on then I won't take it for granted and that I will be declaring and placing this day in the Lord's hands remembering that this day is not about me, it's all about Jesus.  You may be thinking...of course it is, you idiot!  Well, I know that but don't always act like I do.

I can't take credit for this seemingly small but significant to me thing, I heard a story on the radio and adopted it for myself.  And for the life of me can't remember who started it all.

I thought about writing a small cross instead that would declare 'it's all about Jesus!' but I'm afraid me would get in the way and over shadow that cross and that it wouldn't remind me (even though it should) that it wasn't about me.  It being life, successes, talents, everything!  I am such a selfish creature and I shudder to think what I would be without my Jesus, without His Holy Spirit living inside me battling my flesh.  Anything good in me comes from the One who saved me, Jesus.  It's all about Him, it always has been and always will be.  Sometimes...we need a reminder.

"Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

Forty & Fabulous

Ok...I admit it...I look pretty good for a 40 year old woman, I've held up better than most...some...a few.  Really though, the weeks leading up to this monumental birthday was a little tough for me, a little humbling, but a little encouraging too.

I have a lot that I want to accomplish in my life and the number 40 looked like sand running out of an hour glass, like not enough time left to do all I felt God was calling me to do, like defeat.  But I realize that was the enemy; God gently reminded me that He is much bigger than any age, that He can use me no matter how old I am and that He still has a purpose and plan for my life.  My sweet husband also reminded me of this too.  I believe this will just be a bigger testament to His grace, glory, and sovereignty.  And I'm looking forward to the journey that lies ahead.

To celebrate this undoubtedly fantastic birthday, James had some close friends meet us for dinner which I loved.  I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people that love and care about me.  Even if the waiter did put whip cream up my nose..but who cares??? I got free ice cream.