To You, O Lord, I Will Make Music

The Lord placed music in my heart and life when I was a child.  I remember singing songs to Jesus at night as a little girl, I don't recall having a good voice or a bad one...it didn't matter, I just sang.  I begged my parents for piano lessons in 6th grade, I played the saxophone in jr high and eventually started singing in high school (which was ironically the biggest surprise to me and everyone around me).  God gave me the gift of music, even more so...being decent at it.  I realized early on that this was indeed a gift from Him alone and I vowed always to use it for Him and for His glory.  I jumped at every opportunity presented to me to sing, be it the national anthem at various events/causes, a church special, a school assembly, funerals, weddings, so many occasions...all for Jesus.  And yes, I sang about Jesus at school assemblies, God makes those things happen, ya know.  I've been singing for over 26 years now, mostly in church which I love!  I love singing and worshiping with God's people, my sweet church family.  I have been content in this for a long time but just a few short years ago felt God prompting me to more, to step out and share Jesus through song with more people, in more places.  And I said yes... God is equipping me to progress as a worship leader and is opening doors for me to use this precious calling.  I am humbled and honored to serve Him in this way.  I GET to lead others in worshiping Jesus, in singing praises to Him...sometimes in a room full of boisterous men singing at the top of their lungs, tears streaming down their faces, running to the altar...and other times stillness, quiet, reverent singing, joy filled faces, or no words.  What a privilege.  I am content in this...and why shouldn't I be?

God is calling me to more, I'm writing songs, leading worship at conferences, conventions, and more.  I have the opportunity to record my first original album and I know I'm supposed to do it.  Honestly, I could lead my songs in prisons and other venues and not think another thing about it.  But I know I'm called to this too, men in prison, others at other events have asked for my songs and I have nothing to give them and it breaks my heart.  I will not squander this gift of songwriting and singing, if my meager attempt at songwriting brings others into a greater understanding of who Jesus is then I have to share it.  I do not desire a big stage, a record deal, a music career...I just want to be obedient to my calling to lead others in the worship of the Lord through song.

"To you, O Lord, I will make music." Psalm 101:1b

Identity Crisis

You know how Paul said to be all things to all people?  Well, I've tried that...in the negative sense and it is no good.  I am a people pleaser from way back, I've tried to be what people expect me to be and more.  And worse, I've despised it when people thought of me as anything less than...less than a good mom, a great wife, a lovely singer, an awesome christian woman, the list could go on and on.  In various circumstances I would exalt one over the other and hold on to each one as my identity at different times.  AND if I felt I was losing one of those identities, it would send me into a tailspin of grief and patheticness (I know...not a word).  Sometimes my identity would be the opposite of those "proud" things - bad mom, demanding wife, distant friend, never-there-for-you sister/daughter/mother/wife, which would then turn into guilt, shame, and regret.

Thankfully, if I remember who I belong to this identity crisis is not a crisis at all.  My identity lies in the person of Jesus Christ.  I am His and He is mine, He bought me and I am righteous because of Him.  I have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about losing or gaining for that matter, I have Jesus.  Laying these identities down at the feet of Jesus has given me such freedom, I no longer worry about what people think of me (or at least I try not to), I don't worry about messing up or making a mistake (that's not who I am in Him), I don't measure my worth by success or failure...I'm simply a servant of the Lord Jesus.

For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. Colossians 2:9-10

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

What's a Missionary?

Missionary - a person sent on a religious mission, especially one sent to promote Christianity in a foreign country.

This is the definition of missionary that we think of when you hear someone use the term missionary...someone sent to a foreign land on a religious mission.  In all actuality, every follower of Christ is a missionary or at least we should be.  I am a missionary in prisons..."sent" on a mission to a "foreign" place, foreign to me anyway.  But this is where the Lord has sent me, a mission field surrounded and guarded by razor wire, steel doors, and corrections officers.  If you've ever been on any kind of mission trip I imagine that it is hard to leave to go home and go about your daily life.  You wonder if those who surrendered their lives to Jesus will realize how free they now are in Him, how loved, how precious.  You hope they will fall in love with the Word so it penetrates their hearts and grows them into the men and women of God that He has purposed them to be. You pray they will surround themselves with like-minded people, that they will deny themselves and not fall, that they won't compromise but that they will be bold ambassadors for Jesus Christ.  You pray they grasp what grace is.  I think about and pray for the souls we encounter, that they really get it and become missionaries right where they are.

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  Matthew 28:18-20

A missionary tells the story of Jesus and we can do that anywhere, we should do that anywhere and everywhere!

Let's look at that definition again... a person sent on a religious mission.  Jesus has saved us and has instructed us to go, we have been sent to proclaim the Gospel.

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?  And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?” So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. Romans 10:14-17

Now go...

I Marvel

I wrote my 5th song yesterday...I've been walking around with the words I marvel in my head. Those are the only words I had prior to sitting down to write but I love the word marvel, Jesus used it, others used it. It means be filled with wonder, astonishment. The greatest thing that fills me with wonder and astonishment is the work of Christ on the cross for me, his sacrificial death, his resurrection...that's what I marvel at. Why this perfect, Holy God would come to this cruel world, be mocked, rejected, and die a horrific death for you and for me when He really didn't have to...He did it willingly because of His great love for us.  I can't even begin to comprehend that kind of love and when in the tiniest way I try to understand it, it overwhelms me and I weep at the thought of it.  So as I wrote the lyrics to this song, I wept, I sobbed, I was overwhelmed...I hope I never get over Jesus dying for me.

"I Marvel" by Christy Hoagland

Verse 1
The cross of calvary, You bore for me
You saved me from myself, from the enemy
You willingly took my place, You suffered, died, in disgrace
And through Your grace and mercy, You set me free

Chorus
And I marvel, at Your sacrifice
I'm filled with wonder, why You'd give Your life
For me, this sinner, why You bled and died
Your great love for me, I'm still amazed by
It astonishes me
How You saved me, how You changed me
A mystery
How You love me, how You keep me

Verse 2
To understand the cross of Christ, no one will know
God wrapped in flesh, crucified, the debt we owe
Holy Spirit, Father, Son, Almighty King, the Holy One
Died and rose again to give us hope

Chorus

Verse 3
Life was given in Your glorious victory
My guilt and shame washed away in misery
You conquered darkness and the grave
What an awesome price You paid
And in You, risen Lord, gave me eternity!

Chorus

Despising My Humanness

September 7, 2016
    Struggling today...I don't know if it's hormones or what but I feel down, restless, unproductive, and I hate it.  Today is one of those days when I want my job back - I'm used to being busy, consumed with too many things to do and so many things going on around me.  This stillness is getting to me but maybe...maybe it's a wake up call to get on my face and seek the Lord more. John chapter 8 talks about the truth and it also talks about the father of lies, the devil. I need to be on guard and not listen to the enemy's lies.  I need to be able to discern truth from lie and in order to know I have to abide in the Word.  I am thankful for God's Word today, everyday. Thank You for Your peace, Jesus!

September 8, 2016
     Wide awake at 2 am...again. I don't really know what's wrong with me, why am I not sleeping? There have been a few times that I've went back to sleep without too much of a struggle or being awake too long. This time I thought I'd get up and write and seek the Lord. I don't know if I can pinpoint a reason - I trained my job replacement last week and on Tuesday, could that be it? It's been so strange and overwhelming to let go of my job, come back to it and then let it go again. I've had moments of "should I have stayed" and if I'm really honest, I've had moments of not wanting to fulfill any of my upcoming worship engagements (except prison, that's where my heart is). How did this even all come about? Sometimes I feel like I'm in a whirlwind, grasping for something to hold on to, waiting for God to give me some revelation so I'll get focused again. Maybe it's hormones or PMS? Heck, I don't know. Maybe the enemy is trying to sidetrack me from what I'm called to do. I have moments of discontentment and God reminds me how blessed I am. How foolish I am at times, I hate my humanness. I simply need more time with Him, He will give me the peace I need for every moment, every trial, every situation and circumstance, and even every menial thing in my life.

    I went back to bed and am now up for the day...reading, praying, meditating. My own words mock me, I am always telling men and women who are incarcerated to use their time to get closer to Jesus; read, study, pray. And here I am whiling away my days wondering how to make them full and how to make them count. Another case of practice what you preach, walk your talk, etc. I am so thankful that God's mercies are new every morning, today is a new day to begin again and chase after my redeemer, to focus on Him and not my pitiful self. And hopefully it's a while before that stinkin' human rears its ugly head again.

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out."  Romans 7:15-18

My Anything (2016)

Three Summers ago I participated in an online study called "Anything"...here's what's happened since, here is my Anything...

Following that Summer of surrender, longing for more, obedience, risk, and boldness for Jesus I began a journey, a journey full of joy, tears, humility, peace, mourning, and contentment...yes, all those things and more.

My Anything began with God calling me to step out with the gifts He has given me, to make music for Him, for His Glory.  It started with a simple call to fill in as the interim worship leader at my church (which I always say I was not very good at) but God used it to reveal more gifts, more things He wanted me to do.  A few short months following, our small 4 person Celebrate Recovery band led praise and worship in a prison gymnasium.  Our now 5 person band travels to various prisons a few times each year.  During the last two years my aunt and my mom have been diagnosed with breast cancer, I haven't always had a close relationship with my mom but it has been during this time God led me to really be there for my mom.  Dr appointments, hospital runs and stays, and loving her more have been God's task for me during this time of her life.  Along with that God has strengthened my music abilities, He showed me in late 2013 that I could play for myself and has grown and is still growing that gift exponentially.  He has called me to be a worship leader, I enrolled in a certificate program in Worship Ministry at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary last fall (2015) and should finish in Spring 2017.  In November 2015, a dear friend and former inmate asked us to join him in a Friday night prison service. I led a worship service in a chapel of 100 incarcerated men and knew this was where I was supposed to lead worship.  Unbeknownst to my husband upon going in this first time, it was at this service in November that God called him to prison ministry.  He has struggled over the last few years wondering if God would ever call him to be a pastor at a church, he has had a couple opportunities to take churches and lead them but didn't do it and wondered if he had blown it.  And now we know why...he was called to preach in prisons.  I had believed I would be called to a church somewhere and maybe someday I will be but here, now...this is where I am supposed to lead people in the worship and praise of our Savior.  In December my husband and I filled out our applications to become Volunteers in Corrections (VICs), the process was a little grueling with recommendation letters, interviews, training...etc but in early February we were official and since then we have been in prison practically every Friday night leading people in praise and worship and my husband preaching the Word, and our friend testifying of Jesus' life-giving and life-changing gift of salvation.  We go into prison every Friday and other prisons throughout the month and have seen hundreds of broken men give their lives to Christ...what a privilege.  In March 2016, I wrote down a few song lyrics, not many but it was a start of something I could only imagine.  In April, James and I went on a little vacation and I had the intention of trying to write one song, I wrote three and led them in prison for worship the following Friday and several times since.  I met a new friend that is a song writer, I met missionaries from Alaska, and made another new friend while on vacation and she has become a great source of encouragement and promotion for a new ministry that was born through all of this.  We (my husband, our friend, Johnny, and myself) have seen miraculous and powerful things through this team of three and have started a ministry doing "prison services" everywhere.  It was named after the second song I wrote called "Sing for the King", whatever you do, do all for the Glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31...I sing for my King, He gave me this gift and I am going to use it to Glorify and Honor Him and Him alone.  So, Sing for the King Ministries was born, there have been difficulties but more so amazing blessings and incredible connections.  Inmates that we have ministered to have begun telling people they know about this ministry, I have received two calls from sisters of inmates that would like us to come to their church or event, one in Seattle, Washington and one in North Carolina.  The sweet sister in North Carolina is working on flights and hotel reservations right now to bring us there in October.  Maybe we will book a service in Seattle on our way to Alaska.  Who knows where God is going to take us but it is a pretty incredible journey to be on.  We have also had some battles which is to be expected, the enemy is going to attack us.  One of the more difficult things for me was giving up my job, I was trying to work full time, schedule events, go to multiple prisons each month along with our Friday nights, but I wasn't writing songs, I hadn't since our vacation and I knew this was the next step, saying goodbye to a job I loved, goodbye to the people closest to me, I am thankful I go to church with them but it has still been hard and I did a lot of selfish crying over it and I'm sure a lot of people think I am crazy for giving up half my family's income by quitting but I know God will provide.  Since then, which was just last month, God has flung open so many doors, I have been in several churches telling them about prison ministry, about my story, about surrendering everything they are to do what God has called them to do.  I wrote a song last week called "Anything" and have led it in worship several times already.  I have been given the opportunity to go to a recording studio and record my songs, hopefully that will be by the end of this year or beginning of next.  We did a service at a rescue mission last week, I led worship at a men's conference on Saturday, I am singing for Relay for Life next month and more...how marvelous is our God?  I just want to be obedient...yet sometimes my flesh doesn't...and I try to stay eternal minded and not focus too much on my comfort, my loneliness (because sometimes I am lonely) and remember this is what God has called me to, what God has called us to do so I will not be afraid, I will carry on because I was bought with a price and I want to continue to live anything every day.  Anything You call me to, Lord...Anything.

Here's a partial video of "Anything" https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6_j0SZAFyWpV2hTMndLV0F3ZXc

The Antidote for Sin ~ Jesus

As a former lost person, that is….before I had a relationship with Jesus Christ, I lived for myself, I did what I wanted to do, what I thought would make me happy.  We believe the things of this world will bring us happiness, joy, peace, purpose…our selfish desires never fulfill us or bring us contentment.  We will always be searching for the next thing to make us feel better and those that quit searching turn to things that will dull or block the hurt or pain that we need taken away.  The remedy for our illness, our discontentment, our searching….is Jesus.  He is all that we need and when we give up and relinquish our lives to Him then we will stop trying to find something here in this world to bring us peace.  When we live eternal minded, when we live for Jesus, we realize that nothing this world has to offer is worth giving up eternity for, our relationship with Christ, our souls for…when we surrender our lives to Jesus and give Him full control over our lives, He will change our desires to be like His, He will mold us and grow us to be more like Him, more full of love, joy, peace, hope, the list goes on and on.  The change He makes in our heart overrules those previous selfish and sinful ways we used to live and want to live.  This is one of the most amazing things about the Gospel, that through the power of the resurrected King, He changes us in such mighty ways that we are sometimes unrecognizable.  People that really know us and the way we “used to live” are awestruck by the change in us, a change only made possible by laying down our lives at the feet of Jesus, surrendering to Him.

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me." Galatians 2:20

When Jesus died for me, for you, for the world...His sacrifice was payment for our sin.  When we acknowledge that payment and accept this free gift, He sends His Holy Spirit to live inside us.  The Spirit needs fed, its nourishment comes from staying in a close relationship with God, by reading His Word and communicating with Him in prayer.  It's His Spirit living in us that convicts us, that reminds us that He needs time with us, that keeps us on the path He has planned for us.

I say this all the time...if we only knew the amazing plans He has for us, if we could look into the future....we would be on our faces in awe and wonder of Him, of His goodness, His grace...and we would give up everything this world has to offer to live for Him.  He won't make us robots, He wants us to want a relationship with Him, He wants us to love Him...seek Him out, trust Him...He is worth it and so much more.

Great is Your Faithfulness

Last week, James and I went on vacation.  Originally, we were going to go to Florida with my cousin but things got a little crazy and we decided to go to Branson instead by ourselves.  Cameron had other commitments so he stayed home.  I was finally going to have enough alone time to do some song writing…I brought my keyboard and all kinds of other notebooks and “stuff” I thought I might need; I really didn’t have high expectations, I didn’t feel like I knew what I was doing but on Saturday morning after I unpacked and had my quiet time I sat down and began.  I had written some lyrics while I was sick a while back…back when I had a moment to be still.  So I poured over the lyrics to a part of a song I had written called “Be Still”; it really was the story of my life, always being distracted and busy and never “still” enough.  It was based on Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God”.  The music – lyrics and chord progressions came pouring out of me and after a few hours I had a complete song.  Well, at least a song with all the main parts…I could play it for myself and sing it.  I was simply awe struck, God is so good to me.  Day 1 and I already had a song.  I recorded it and sent it to a couple friends, I played it for James - much to his surprise (because he didn’t expect much either) but no one was as surprised as I was and am.  That night a lady I didn’t know texted me about some Alaskan missionaries at her church there in Branson, she said she thought we were supposed to attend her church the next morning and meet them.  So, we did.  If you read my previous post you know that I bawled through at least half of the service, it was an amazing day.  Sunday afternoon I wrote my second song.  Tuesday, I wrote another.  What was happening to me?  God was turning me into a song writer!  The song I wrote Tuesday was called “Great is Your Faithfulness”…He really is faithful.  Tuesday morning we met with an old friend of James’ from back in high school.  She is a songwriter and happened to be in Springfield the week we were in Branson.  She is a wealth of knowledge and gave me so much advice and instruction on where to go from here.  God’s timing is perfect, He has a plan.  It was a wonderful week, I wept a lot and grew closer to my Lord.  Below are some things I wrote down each morning.

April 23, 2016

Galatians 1:24 “And they glorified God because of me.”

This is my desire, that people would glorify God because of me.  I want God to use me to bring people to faith in Him and to worship Him.

Lord Jesus, help me use the gifts You’ve given me to honor You and to show people who You are that they may fall on their face and glorify You, that they would sell out to You with all that they are.  May they glorify You because of me, because I’m living with abandon, following Your will, and pointing them to You.  Keep me humble, holy and righteous.  May you be first in every area of my life and may I boldly display that.  Thank You, Jesus for this opportunity to serve You.  You are glorious and worthy of all praise.  I love You.  Amen

I wrote a song today, it’s called “Be Still”.  It’s based on Psalm 46:10 “Be Still and know that I am God”.  I am simply in awe that God allows me to serve Him in this way.  Singing, playing piano, and now writing music.  Incredible, amazing, He is truly wonderful and worthy of much more than anything I have to offer.  What a blessing it is to be His child and to serve Him.

April 24, 2016

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

                When I surrendered my life to Christ, I gave up living for myself.  There are times when the Spirit battles the flesh but my life is no longer ruled by the flesh if I stay in the Word and in close fellowship with Jesus.

                Jesus, help me today to live by faith, to put away any selfish ambitions and live for You, for Your will and for Your Glory alone.  Thank you for giving Yourself up for me so I could have a relationship with You.  Thank You for what You are doing right now in my life.  Help me not take one moment for granted and to be constantly in awe and wonder of who You are.  Thank you for this journey however short or long it is.  You make what seems impossible possible, I am grateful.  Praise Your holy name.  I love you, Jesus. Amen.

April 25, 2016

Galatians 3:28-29 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for You are all one in Christ Jesus.  And if You are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.”

                Do the offenders in prison really know how loved they are, how God wants to free them with the power of the gospel and have an intimate relationship with them?  I want them to know this, I want them to see that they/we are all one in Christ.

                Lord, use me in this mission field to show Your love for these, incarcerated men and women.  Humble me, give me words when I have none, silence when none are needed and love so powerful that it cannot be denied it’s from You.  Help me stay focused and not let the world crowd in and distract me from this calling.  All for Your glory, Lord.  Thank You, Jesus, for this time, this journey, this incredible way to serve You and to make You known.  I love You, Jesus.  Amen.  Let our lives reflect You.

April 26, 2016

Galatians 5:16-17 “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.  For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”

                Spirit vs. Flesh – this is sometimes a tough battle.  I find myself sold out to the Spirit and ready to jump off a cliff into unknown possibilities and then other times find myself desiring comfort and “so called” stability.  And I forget, I forget that God’s ways are higher than my ways, that He has this all figured out and that His plan is the best plan.  I simply need to trust Him more, rely on His strength, there’s real stability in following His will and an overwhelming peace.

                Lord Jesus, Save me from myself, keep me focused on Your plan for me, lead me by Your Spirit.  When I am tempted to chicken out, remind me of Your mission, remind me that people need to hear about Your saving grace, remind me that time is fleeting and this world is not my home.  May Your Spirit that lives in me overcome my flesh and win out in every decision, thought, and circumstance.  Use me for Your glory, Lord.  I love You, Jesus.  Amen.

April 27, 2016

Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

                Don’t give up!  We will reap what we sow. Some may see that as wordly gain but I see it as lives changed.  Do not grow weary in doing good!  I don’t ever want to tire of sharing the gospel with the lost and hopeless.  What is the cost of one human life/soul?  It is priceless.

                Lord, Use me to share Your truth and hope, help me stay focused on Your plan and not get side-tracked with my own personal interests, help Your interests always be my interests.  Give me strength when I start to get weary, give me a greater, more supernatural love for the lost.  I love You, Jesus.  Amen.

April 28, 2016

Hebrews 11 “Faith”

                This chapter is all about faith in action.  These men and women had faith in an invisible God to lead them to something better and they didn’t have the Holy Spirit!

                Lord, I want to put my faith into action; I want  to so fully rely on You that even when people say I’m crazy I will have Your overwhelming peace and joy, knowing that I’m doing Your will and what You’ve called me to do.  Thank You, Jesus, for Your faithfulness, Your peace, and for continual sanctification.  Make me who You want me to be.  I love you, Jesus.  Amen.

Make A Difference

Through some interesting circumstances we ended up at a church yesterday and listened to an Alaskan missionary preach.  It doesn't matter how we got there only that God placed us there.  This service was more confirmation that I am doing what God has called me to do.  All through the message I had already felt God had worked out in my heart and I really was sold out to it.

Here's my notes from Ron Pratt's message:

1) Make a Difference in the World with your PASSION.  Passion is Christ's suffering on the cross.  Our love for people that are hurting should move us... The love of Jesus ignites our passion to make a difference in the world!

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith,so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.

It's heavenly passion that fuels our boldness.

Ephesians 6:19-20 And also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,  for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

*pray and speak boldly as I ought to speak *boldness empowers you to take risks

2) Make a Difference in the World with your TESTIMONY.  Your story, it's the second greatest story ever told.
Wherever you are listen to that still small voice.  It's never an inappropriate time to change a life. People need to hear about Jesus, they need prayer. The Holy Spirit will not set you up for failure.

2 Timothy 1:7-9 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God,  who saved us and called us to[a] a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.

Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

3) Make a Difference in the World with your OBEDIENCE.  Stay focused, the little things matter, don't let the small stuff distract you.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Matthew 28:16 Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them.
*What if the disciples didn't go to the mountain?
*We want a mountain experience without climbing the mountain.
*Faith always wins over fame, integrity wins over talent
*Listen and be led by the Spirit

4) Make a Difference in the World with your INVESTMENTS.  Invest in the kingdom, your mission!
*Instead of allowing your budget to influence your faith, allow your faith to influence your budget.

Jude 1:22-23 And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.
*Lives are in the balance
________________

The mission God has called me to is prison ministry, I am a missionary in prisons.  The entire sermon seemed like it somewhat rolled off the pages of my heart - crazy faith, holy boldness, running hard after God, anything for you Jesus...it was a miraculous morning and I sat there in awe.  At the end the song "Beautiful Things" started playing and I just wept, I want the men and women in prison to know they are beautiful and precious and that they are so loved.  Prison is my mission field.  Where's yours?

Mardi Gras Mission Trip 2016 ~ Part 1

My 4th year of going on mission to New Orleans during Mardi Gras did not disappoint.  We did things a little different this year, new ideas had been brought to the table, new people (ok, one person) were coming along, and a new sense of boldness.  Conversational evangelism was, I believe, the main goal on this trip although I had used it every year in the past whether during face painting, passing out tracts on bourbon street, you name it.  But this year we were more intentional in our pursuit of conversations with the people we would encounter.  We prayed ahead of time and during for a love and opportunity to share Christ with those God would place in our path.  We used interviews as a way to engage people in conversations that would hopefully lead to the telling of Jesus and His love for them.  Yes, we were shut down by some and appeased by others but the gospel was put into their hands with a little card that had our name on it and a website that they could go to see their interview when it was posted but first took them to our personal story and testimony.  God does the saving, we just have to be obedient in the telling.

We also did a breakfast ministry each morning, the original thought was to find those who were still around in the morning that had perhaps partied too much the night before or were left behind by their friends, etc.  We didn't find many of those but we did find a vast amount of homeless people.  On day one I met a young woman named Rachel, she had sores on her feet and one above her mouth, she had a sweet smile and countenance and I was immediately drawn to her.  I prayed to find her the next day and I did.  It was a little chillier and she had boots on and other layers of clothing.  She let me sit with her and pray with her.  She said she was a mom of four children (she only looked to be in her twenties), she said they were with family in Colorado.  Sometimes she made sense and at other times I couldn't follow her but I was able to tell her the truth about Jesus, that He loved her and that regardless of her circumstances she could have joy and peace with Him.  I told her I wasn't better than her and that she wasn't better than me.  I held her hand and prayed for her, she hugged me I think three times.  I gave her one of the cards that had my name on it, I told her I didn't want her to forget me.  I don't know whether she will ever be able to look up my testimony but I wanted her to look at it and remember when she heard about Jesus.  She seemed genuinely touched and just stared at the card mouthing the words on it.  She is still in my heart and on my mind and I hope I never forget her.  Maybe God will even place her in my path once again.

What a Year...

2015 has been one of the most difficult years of my life and also one of the most amazing.  Difficulties that included my mom's battle with breast cancer, one of the lowest points ever in my marriage, my children running from God, other family members struggles, my own selfish personal battles, you name it.  But through and amidst all of those things God has proven His faithfulness and goodness and love to me...more than I deserve.  And even more, began showing me a glimpse of His plan for me.  I really need to share about His marvelous works in my life, how He repaired my marriage and made it better than ever, how He is using me to serve Him and changing me into the woman He wants me to be.  He has given me incredible friendships with some might say "unlikely people" but I say they are an inspiration and amazing part of my life.  He has grown and stretched me, disciplined me and loved me more than I can describe.  He has given James and I a ministry together to use the gifts and talents He has given us to glorify Him and do His kingdom work.  And on the first day of 2016, this ministry will truly begin.  James and I and our partner in this work, Johnny, will go to Algoa Correctional Center to share Jesus.  James will preach his first sermon in prison, this is the start of something big in our lives, a calling from our King.  God has placed us here to use us, to grow us, to proclaim who He is and to provide freedom for the captives.  I am honored and humbled to be called to do this work, God doesn't need me for anything but He chose me and He chose James and He chose Johnny to do this together.  He made us a team to give away what we've been given through the blood of the Lamb.  How marvelous, incredible and wonderful is that?!?

I ran across these notes I had made a couple years ago and they blessed my heart today...

12/4/13 - Live your life for something other than yourself.  Live for something greater, something eternal.  When your toil is for The Lord, it is no longer toil but joy.  If you do anything for yourself it will not produce joy.  Joy comes only from pleasing God.

1/15/14 - God takes pleasure in me, His creation, when I live out my purpose.  When I sing, God takes enjoyment.

Here's to 2016! Let's live for Jesus and declare the Gospel!  Let's Praise the Lord!

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord;
    let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
² Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
    let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
³ For the Lord is a great God,
    and a great King above all gods.
⁴ In his hand are the depths of the earth;
    the heights of the mountains are his also.
⁵ The sea is his, for he made it,
    and his hands formed the dry land.

⁶ Oh come, let us worship and bow down;
    let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
⁷ For he is our God,
    and we are the people of his pasture,
    and the sheep of his hand.

Psalm 95:1-7

 

Praise the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary;
    praise him in his mighty heavens!^[a]
2 Praise him for his mighty deeds;
    praise him according to his excellent greatness!

³ Praise him with trumpet sound;
    praise him with lute and harp!
⁴ Praise him with tambourine and dance;
    praise him with strings and pipe!
⁵ Praise him with sounding cymbals;
    praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
⁶ Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!

Psalm 150

Transitions

My life is transitioning...some exciting, some scary, some just are...my baby boy will graduate from high school next month, my oldest boy is living on his own being all grown up, my mama is walking through difficult health issues, I just applied to seminary to work on a Certificate in Worship Ministry, and there are more things around the corner.  God is doing some molding on me and I feel vulnerable.  I have been brave, I have been weak, I have been encouraging and encouraged, I have wept, I have been confident, I have felt insecure, I have prayed for God to lead me through all these things and He is and I am thankful.  I am trusting Him.  I feel He is opening doors and closing others which is amazing and frightening, frightening because I am so human.  I'm eager to embark on this journey of new things, even the hard things because I know God will show Himself more and more to me and I will grow closer to Him especially through the difficult things.

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak". Matthew 26:41b

I feel like this pretty much sums up how I've been feeling and that portion of that scripture came right to mind but I looked up where to find it and was reminded of its instruction from our Lord.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41

Watch and pray.

I will keep my eyes on Jesus, watch for the snares of the enemy of self-pity, doubt, fear or those that will draw me away from God's calling, and I will continue to pray, pray for leading, clarity, to be used however my Lord wants to use me, and I will pray for His peace.

It's Not About Me, It's All About Him

Every once in a while I scribble a small X on my wrist.  A couple people have seen it and asked me 'why do you have an X on your wrist?'  And I explain...and even though it is a good discussion starter it isn't the reason I do it, it's not for them...it's for me.

The X is a visual reminder that 'it's not about me', sure some might get something tattooed like this or something else but I feel that if I intentionally write it on then I won't take it for granted and that I will be declaring and placing this day in the Lord's hands remembering that this day is not about me, it's all about Jesus.  You may be thinking...of course it is, you idiot!  Well, I know that but don't always act like I do.

I can't take credit for this seemingly small but significant to me thing, I heard a story on the radio and adopted it for myself.  And for the life of me can't remember who started it all.

I thought about writing a small cross instead that would declare 'it's all about Jesus!' but I'm afraid me would get in the way and over shadow that cross and that it wouldn't remind me (even though it should) that it wasn't about me.  It being life, successes, talents, everything!  I am such a selfish creature and I shudder to think what I would be without my Jesus, without His Holy Spirit living inside me battling my flesh.  Anything good in me comes from the One who saved me, Jesus.  It's all about Him, it always has been and always will be.  Sometimes...we need a reminder.

"Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

The Prayers of a Righteous Man Availeth Much

I was looking for a notebook to write in and ran across this one.  Whew, it made me tear up a little.  This first page is a sermon Christian preached a few years ago, I think from 2009.  If you've been following our story on this then you know that my sons are not following Jesus right now.  But as much as this grieved me to see his faith then in relation to now, this even more so shows me God's promise of his return to Jesus' arms.  I am so blessed and thankful for my Savior. 

Some other things he wrote in this notebook that I want to quote because they are so so good...

Romans 1:17
*The gospel is what God uses to tell us things about our lives...
*The gospel shows God's righteousness
 - The righteous man shall live by faith

Colossians 1:11
*It's not about just getting by

Philippians 1:27
-We should walk in a way that is worthy of the glory of the message
-Are you willing to walk in integrity?
-If you confess your sins to your brother then there will be healing

I've been on my face every day for my boys and my gracious Heavenly Father is giving me glimpses of their return and peace beyond belief.  I am constantly in awe.

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16

Sing for the King

I know my calling....to sing for my King.  Let's go back a few years...

My musical interests revolved around playing the piano and the saxophone.  I begged my parents for piano lessons when I was in 6th grade and they said yes.  My lessons were $4 a week and I walked to them every week for a year and a half.  We moved after my 7th grade year and had to leave my piano and my lessons behind.  I played the saxophone from 7th grade on and I loved it.  Even when I started singing in high school the saxophone was my first love.

I didn't begin singing until I was around 15 years old, I hadn't thought about singing.  I loved my saxophone, remember?  A year or so after "the move", we began attending a little country church...they had a youth choir.  They asked my sister and I if we would like to join and we said why not.  My sister sang in glee club at our former school but I had only been interested in playing instruments.  Much to my surprise and everyone else's, I was a decent singer, who knew?  And...I wasn't too shy to sing in front of people, another who knew?  The first solo I ever sang at my church was by Petra "The Prayer", I would sing with tapes or CDs or acapella if need be.  I sang a duet with a friend at youth church camp the Summer after my freshman year, I was in the high school choirs my Junior and Senior year, I sang at revivals at various churches, in people's living rooms, I would sing whenever anyone asked, anytime, anywhere.

This continued through my adult life, singing in my college show choir, singing at church, cantatas, special events in my or other communities, youth conferences, stupid talent shows...sing, sing, sing. In 2003, I recorded a "demo" CD with 6 songs to tracks, I never really did much with it but was grateful for the opportunity and experience to make it.  Once in a while someone asks me about a CD and I get a little embarrassed, I don't know...I really don't think of myself as a big deal and don't want to either, even typing this makes me a little uncomfortable because all this is not about me, it's all about my Jesus and the journey He has led me through. 

I did a few concerts at various churches after that which was a great learning experience as well.  And eventually I ended up on a worship team at my church...

All the events leading up to now are important and played a role in my life but the last couple of years have been a whirlwind of not only musical growth but more importantly spiritual growth.  In the Fall of 2010, I began singing on the worship team at my church, I led a few of the songs for Sunday morning worship and gained some knowledge on what it was like to sing with a live band instead of CDs or the typical church piano.  Then in 2013, due to various circumstances, there was a need for an interim Worship leader and I seized the opportunity.  It was also at this point that I began singing on Monday nights as well at our Celebrate Recovery meetings, another blessed experience and opportunity.  The CR worship leader was a big support and contributed about as much as I did to the Sunday morning process.  I can't say that I was great at it because I wasn't but it was an eye opening experience and I am thankful for every minute of it.  It taught me a lot about all the work that goes in behind the scenes that nobody sees or notices on Sunday mornings and what kind of leader I was and need to be.  Another first during this time...Prison Concerts, the CR worship team took their first concert to prison, it was awesome and we were hooked. Along with that...I began playing the keyboard, I played for a couple songs during the prison concert and a couple times at CR and the very last Sunday morning that I led the music.  I was not very good, I just chorded mostly but it put me on a path to things I had only dreamed of.

Five months later we hired a worship pastor, he was wise and gracious and an incredible leader, musically and spiritually.  He has taught me a lot about music and worship and has been continually guiding and teaching me to be a better worship leader.  I now play keys most Sunday mornings and every Monday night and the craziest part...I'm singing too. That has always been a challenge for me, to sing and play at the same time and I'm still working on it, but I can play for myself and have on several occasions now for revivals or our worship services and the occasional funeral.  But the most important life-changing part is the work God has done in my heart.  I have a renewed sense of awe and wonder about Him, He has given me a freedom to worship Him like I never had before...what an amazing King I serve.  I am humbled by His majesty, undeserving of His mercy and grace, and completely surrounded by His love and presence every day.  And I can't wait to see what's next...

Mardi Gras Mission Trip 2015 ~ The Heart

 

Love people in the every day...this is probably one of the biggest things I learned during our mission trip.  Missionaries from all over the country come to New Orleans during Mardi Gras to share Jesus.  We met a young man that was part of a group called "mardi gras invasion", it's a good description of what happens during this time each year.  It seems to me that "Christians" are becoming part of the show or routine here during Mardi Gras.  Lost people, those that come year after year, expect to see us.  And I wonder...do these partyers ever see or hear anything about Jesus in their every day lives?  Is this the only "Jesus" they have any contact with, which can be sad because there are many here with only words of condemnation and no salt in their speech, no telling of Jesus' miraculous love and grace, no hope.

And once again I am reminded about why this trip is so good for me and important for me.  It makes me see people's souls a little more, makes me love them a little deeper, makes me want to share Christ with them anywhere.  I bet I looked into the faces (really looked into the faces) of 5-10 people in Wal-Mart today.  I stared at the cashier's name tag "Kim" and wondered "does she know my Jesus", I began to pray for her.  I'm going to seek her out every time I walk into Wal-Mart, at least I hope I will, I will pray for a divine appointment and maybe I will get the opportunity to tell her that she is dearly loved and that the One who loves her died to give her life.