To You, O Lord, I Will Make Music

The Lord placed music in my heart and life when I was a child.  I remember singing songs to Jesus at night as a little girl, I don't recall having a good voice or a bad one...it didn't matter, I just sang.  I begged my parents for piano lessons in 6th grade, I played the saxophone in jr high and eventually started singing in high school (which was ironically the biggest surprise to me and everyone around me).  God gave me the gift of music, even more so...being decent at it.  I realized early on that this was indeed a gift from Him alone and I vowed always to use it for Him and for His glory.  I jumped at every opportunity presented to me to sing, be it the national anthem at various events/causes, a church special, a school assembly, funerals, weddings, so many occasions...all for Jesus.  And yes, I sang about Jesus at school assemblies, God makes those things happen, ya know.  I've been singing for over 26 years now, mostly in church which I love!  I love singing and worshiping with God's people, my sweet church family.  I have been content in this for a long time but just a few short years ago felt God prompting me to more, to step out and share Jesus through song with more people, in more places.  And I said yes... God is equipping me to progress as a worship leader and is opening doors for me to use this precious calling.  I am humbled and honored to serve Him in this way.  I GET to lead others in worshiping Jesus, in singing praises to Him...sometimes in a room full of boisterous men singing at the top of their lungs, tears streaming down their faces, running to the altar...and other times stillness, quiet, reverent singing, joy filled faces, or no words.  What a privilege.  I am content in this...and why shouldn't I be?

God is calling me to more, I'm writing songs, leading worship at conferences, conventions, and more.  I have the opportunity to record my first original album and I know I'm supposed to do it.  Honestly, I could lead my songs in prisons and other venues and not think another thing about it.  But I know I'm called to this too, men in prison, others at other events have asked for my songs and I have nothing to give them and it breaks my heart.  I will not squander this gift of songwriting and singing, if my meager attempt at songwriting brings others into a greater understanding of who Jesus is then I have to share it.  I do not desire a big stage, a record deal, a music career...I just want to be obedient to my calling to lead others in the worship of the Lord through song.

"To you, O Lord, I will make music." Psalm 101:1b

2016 - What a Year!

It's been a great year!  A ministry, a daughter-in-law, a new "job", song writing, worship leading, traveling, and more....it's been a sold out to Jesus year and I can't wait to see how He is going to use me in 2017.  Life, of course, is not without its ups and downs...my mom has been in and out of the hospital (she's doing pretty good right now), my grandpa was just released from the hospital (seems to be better), I lost miserably in fantasy football...last place, seriously....it was bad (there's always next season), sorry, that was rather tacky...but I really do love football.  I haven't blogged since September, shame on me, but rest assured, I'm ok and sort of have good reasons excuses.  Lots of ministry happening here and there and everywhere...in prisons, North Carolina, Arkansas, it's really been amazing.  I've read lots of books (ok...a couple), I finished another course in my goal to obtain a Certificate in Worship Ministry through Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary...almost done :)  I should wrap it up this Spring, lots of hospital runs and appointments with my mama, the discovery of Gilmore Girls on netflix...the list goes on and on.  But those are the highlights.  Let's back up...

The wedding....July 30, 2016, my son, Christian and his bride, Sydney tied the knot.  It was a lovely wedding officiated by my father-in-law and Christian's grandpa, Lester.  Sydney is a precious young lady and we are proud to have her in our family.

I quit my job in July, so I could do more ministry work, write more songs, etc....and boy, did that explode!  I wrote four songs from August to October, traveled to Arkansas to lead worship for a ladies retreat, traveled to North Carolina to participate with a TV ministry - I led worship there as well, it's been pretty amazing...read our Sing for the King Ministries 2016 Year in Review.

https://singfortheking.com/2016/12/31/2016-a-year-in-review/

Our ministry has seen countless lives changed by the Gospel in and out of prison, I have been so blessed to be a part of it all.  My marriage, faith, and love for people is stronger than it ever has been and the Glory belongs to the Lord.  Thank You, Jesus, for these life-changing moments of 2016, I won't forget them.

Almost forgot to do our Christmas Card though, that would've been tragic, ha.  I threw this together and mailed it on December 22nd...what a loser ;)

And hey, read these books...

I Marvel

I wrote my 5th song yesterday...I've been walking around with the words I marvel in my head. Those are the only words I had prior to sitting down to write but I love the word marvel, Jesus used it, others used it. It means be filled with wonder, astonishment. The greatest thing that fills me with wonder and astonishment is the work of Christ on the cross for me, his sacrificial death, his resurrection...that's what I marvel at. Why this perfect, Holy God would come to this cruel world, be mocked, rejected, and die a horrific death for you and for me when He really didn't have to...He did it willingly because of His great love for us.  I can't even begin to comprehend that kind of love and when in the tiniest way I try to understand it, it overwhelms me and I weep at the thought of it.  So as I wrote the lyrics to this song, I wept, I sobbed, I was overwhelmed...I hope I never get over Jesus dying for me.

"I Marvel" by Christy Hoagland

Verse 1
The cross of calvary, You bore for me
You saved me from myself, from the enemy
You willingly took my place, You suffered, died, in disgrace
And through Your grace and mercy, You set me free

Chorus
And I marvel, at Your sacrifice
I'm filled with wonder, why You'd give Your life
For me, this sinner, why You bled and died
Your great love for me, I'm still amazed by
It astonishes me
How You saved me, how You changed me
A mystery
How You love me, how You keep me

Verse 2
To understand the cross of Christ, no one will know
God wrapped in flesh, crucified, the debt we owe
Holy Spirit, Father, Son, Almighty King, the Holy One
Died and rose again to give us hope

Chorus

Verse 3
Life was given in Your glorious victory
My guilt and shame washed away in misery
You conquered darkness and the grave
What an awesome price You paid
And in You, risen Lord, gave me eternity!

Chorus

The Night I Went to Prison

I had been anticipating this night - many prayers, planning and practicing went into preparing to enter this prison chapel and tell 100 men about Jesus' redemption plan and to share in worshiping my King.  I've been doing prison ministry concerts with my church worship team for the last two years.  I've seen many grown men fall to their knees and cry out to our Holy God, it really is a sight to behold, a privilege to be a part of...

This night was a little different, James and I had been asked to come in, him to preach and me to lead worship.  James wasn't too sure about the whole thing and wanted to observe the first time.  I was excited for the opportunity to share praise and worship with these men and to give away the hope that I have in Jesus Christ.  I planned my songs, what scriptures I wanted to use, what words and direction I thought God was leading me and prayed that He would use me for His glory.  And the waiting and countdown began.  My friend, Johnny, that goes in every Friday night to minister and had invited us to go was just as excited (if not more).

We arrived an hour early to set up and we circled up to pray.  Four or five offenders, Johnny, James and myself...and I was in awe.  In awe of God bringing me here, using me in this way.  What an honor.  It may not sound like that big of a deal to some, probably most people would prefer to play on a big stage, a sold out crowd, or somewhere without razor wire.  I could be content doing just this, this is enough for me, God, and I am so thankful.  I believe He has much more in store for me but I don't think I will ever give up prison ministry.

After we prayed, the prison worship band began playing and then men started filing in.  Johnny spoke for a few minutes and then turned it over to me...it really is crazy.  I did a couple songs they knew and even the ones that they didn't know they tried to sing along.  Do you know what 100 men in prison sound like singing 'Holy, Holy, Holy to our Lord God Almighty' sounds like?  It sounds like freedom, it sounds like total abandonment, it sounds like brokenness and healing and so many other beautiful things that are beyond description.  Several men gave their hearts to Jesus.  I'm sure some people think it's only "jailhouse religion" and that may be the case for some...but if one life is changed with the Gospel of Christ...then what an awesome and incredible experience for that one.  A life changed - what's it worth?  The cross of Calvary.  My Jesus died for these men too and they are hungry to know who He is.

Prison ministry isn't for everyone but it's certainly for me and I can't wait to go back.  What a blessing, God is so good to me.  I know this is part of His plan for me, part of my 'anything' journey, the start of something amazing - the start of a ministry with my husband!  Next time, James will preach and I'll get to lead worship with these men again.  Say yes to Jesus, what has He called you to?

Lay it Down

Last night I did jail ministry in a local county jail.  I've been a couple of times before, it is a humbling experience.  This time our leader asked if I would do the lesson and I asked her if I could share my testimony, she said yes so I began to prepare.  I also asked her if I could bring my keyboard with me and she said she would try to get it approved.  I've sang with the ladies before but with no music, which is fine but I thought they'd enjoy this.  About 30 minutes prior to my leaving, my keyboard got approved, so I packed it up and headed to the jail.

We had two groups of women, some I had seen before, some were new.  I printed lyrics for them to sing along and to take with them back to their cells, I hoped it would be an encouragement for them.  We prayed, sang, and there were lots of tears, I shared my testimony which is nothing glamorous...it's simply my story about surrender and how Jesus saved me.  It is really all about surrendering our will, laying down that pride, our fears, our life and following Him, letting Him have control.  I am so grateful for these opportunities and am so in awe of God using little ol me to do anything at all.

I have the privilege to do a concert for them in May, how awesome is our God!

Sing for the King

I know my calling....to sing for my King.  Let's go back a few years...

My musical interests revolved around playing the piano and the saxophone.  I begged my parents for piano lessons when I was in 6th grade and they said yes.  My lessons were $4 a week and I walked to them every week for a year and a half.  We moved after my 7th grade year and had to leave my piano and my lessons behind.  I played the saxophone from 7th grade on and I loved it.  Even when I started singing in high school the saxophone was my first love.

I didn't begin singing until I was around 15 years old, I hadn't thought about singing.  I loved my saxophone, remember?  A year or so after "the move", we began attending a little country church...they had a youth choir.  They asked my sister and I if we would like to join and we said why not.  My sister sang in glee club at our former school but I had only been interested in playing instruments.  Much to my surprise and everyone else's, I was a decent singer, who knew?  And...I wasn't too shy to sing in front of people, another who knew?  The first solo I ever sang at my church was by Petra "The Prayer", I would sing with tapes or CDs or acapella if need be.  I sang a duet with a friend at youth church camp the Summer after my freshman year, I was in the high school choirs my Junior and Senior year, I sang at revivals at various churches, in people's living rooms, I would sing whenever anyone asked, anytime, anywhere.

This continued through my adult life, singing in my college show choir, singing at church, cantatas, special events in my or other communities, youth conferences, stupid talent shows...sing, sing, sing. In 2003, I recorded a "demo" CD with 6 songs to tracks, I never really did much with it but was grateful for the opportunity and experience to make it.  Once in a while someone asks me about a CD and I get a little embarrassed, I don't know...I really don't think of myself as a big deal and don't want to either, even typing this makes me a little uncomfortable because all this is not about me, it's all about my Jesus and the journey He has led me through. 

I did a few concerts at various churches after that which was a great learning experience as well.  And eventually I ended up on a worship team at my church...

All the events leading up to now are important and played a role in my life but the last couple of years have been a whirlwind of not only musical growth but more importantly spiritual growth.  In the Fall of 2010, I began singing on the worship team at my church, I led a few of the songs for Sunday morning worship and gained some knowledge on what it was like to sing with a live band instead of CDs or the typical church piano.  Then in 2013, due to various circumstances, there was a need for an interim Worship leader and I seized the opportunity.  It was also at this point that I began singing on Monday nights as well at our Celebrate Recovery meetings, another blessed experience and opportunity.  The CR worship leader was a big support and contributed about as much as I did to the Sunday morning process.  I can't say that I was great at it because I wasn't but it was an eye opening experience and I am thankful for every minute of it.  It taught me a lot about all the work that goes in behind the scenes that nobody sees or notices on Sunday mornings and what kind of leader I was and need to be.  Another first during this time...Prison Concerts, the CR worship team took their first concert to prison, it was awesome and we were hooked. Along with that...I began playing the keyboard, I played for a couple songs during the prison concert and a couple times at CR and the very last Sunday morning that I led the music.  I was not very good, I just chorded mostly but it put me on a path to things I had only dreamed of.

Five months later we hired a worship pastor, he was wise and gracious and an incredible leader, musically and spiritually.  He has taught me a lot about music and worship and has been continually guiding and teaching me to be a better worship leader.  I now play keys most Sunday mornings and every Monday night and the craziest part...I'm singing too. That has always been a challenge for me, to sing and play at the same time and I'm still working on it, but I can play for myself and have on several occasions now for revivals or our worship services and the occasional funeral.  But the most important life-changing part is the work God has done in my heart.  I have a renewed sense of awe and wonder about Him, He has given me a freedom to worship Him like I never had before...what an amazing King I serve.  I am humbled by His majesty, undeserving of His mercy and grace, and completely surrounded by His love and presence every day.  And I can't wait to see what's next...

Sing to the Lord with Thanksgiving

For the past 3 and some odd years I have been singing on my church's worship team.  There have been many changes throughout those three+ years but none such as the last 6 months.  Last August we needed a worship leader, I volunteered.  And with much help from a friend that was leading our church's Celebrate Recovery band on Monday evenings began leading worship on Sunday mornings.

It was a lot more work than I had anticipated, I listened to too many songs to count, scheduled the songs, people for singing, playing, sound, lyrics, etc etc...We had the occasional hiccup but nothing too drastic, God is so good, He humbled me and held me.  Taught me so many things spiritually and musically. 

I started this post in January or February so this is referring to August thru December 2013.  Now I will finish it, lol!  In January my church hired a Worship Pastor.  I was very excited about it, I was ready to learn some new things and boy have I ever.  I cannot even begin to describe the work Christ has done in my heart and life this last year, but I can try. 

Last August we needed a keyboard player and a lovely teenage girl stepped up to play, she had just learned how to chord and was willing to serve the Lord with her talents.  She taught me a lot, watching her made me realize I could probably learn to do that or teach myself how to somewhat.  If you know me very well then you know I don't play the piano very well, I love to play but usually only pull out my piano music around Christmas time.  I have sang and played (easy hymns) at small churches where James has preached but only those easy hymns that I have practiced ahead of time.  Anyway, I played keys a couple of times for Celebrate Recovery last Fall and then played the very last Sunday morning in December which was a shock to everyone, including me.  Since then, our new Worship Pastor has challenged and stretched me both on playing keys and vocally.  I have learned so much from him not only musically but he has taught me spiritually as well how to lead worship, how to prepare for worship, and more.  Last month, (July) our Worship Pastor, Mark, took some of the worship team to the National Worship Leaders Conference.  What an awesome experience, I was blessed beyond measure, learned so much and have already put into practice some of the things I learned there.  God is so good to me, He is showing me how to use my gifts and talents for Him in ways I never knew I would be able to...He is simply amazing.