Friday evening, 2.13.15
After a crazy week of not feeling ready to even begin this journey this time around, here it is...day one of traveling is over and tomorrow we will be in New Orleans face to face with the people we will be ministering to.
Feelings of inadequacy and unpreparedness flood my thoughts along with ironically, pride and self-centeredness. I'm the "leader" of this trip which is already a stretch but I better take hold of it and do one of the things I do best, boss. The last two times I came on this mission trip I was very introverted for the most part with my team members and I didn't realize quite how much until one of my current team members made an innocent remark about me that I was mindful of my lack of community amongst my own team. This leadership thing has forced me to engage more, God is using me in different ways this go around and I'm eager for the journey. To God be the glory!
*It's all about Jesus - not about me winning people to Him ( I can't do that, only He can), not about me even leading this team, nothing good can come from any part of Christy Hoagland. If there is any good in me it is because of the redemptive work of Jesus.
His grace is sufficient, His mercies are new every morning, Great is His faithfulness!
2.16.15
This has been a weird trip. Please move in my life, Lord. I feel very under attack, spiritually and emotionally.
Distraction - whether the enemy's whispers in my ear or issues at home have been difficult for me to overcome. I feel like I am able to talk with people and share Jesus, because of the Holy Spirit, but I am not always as focused as I should be.
Lord, I need Your help, to finish this journey, to lead this group and to put You first in every situation. Go before me today, give me strength and courage and discernment to do what You have put before me. To God be the glory. I love You, Jesus!
2.17.15
We are back in our hotel room in Mississippi before we head home tomorrow. This has been a stretching week, leading the team and making every stinking decision isn't all it's cracked up to be. Nevertheless, Christ was exalted and proclaimed! I am weary...
2.19.15
We are home safe and sound. God has taught me a lot these past few days. One being to be bold and authoritative in my decision making. Although I am naturally bossy, I'm also a people pleaser and I'm learning I cannot make everyone happy and that I can lead people more graciously.
As for my personal struggle (which I really haven't shared but maybe will in the future)...my talk with my husband went better than expected. He was gentle and gracious with me and I am so thankful for him.
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