I could see some compromises in my child's life, although small, they were still there and it troubled me. He had just finished his freshman year of college and was home for the Summer. Don't get me wrong, he is a great young man but I was concerned he wasn't following the Lord as closely as he used to be and the world was crowding in on him. I saw an opportunity to have dinner with just the two of us, dad and little brother were off doing something else so I sought the Lord on how to approach this needed discussion with my son.
I made the two of us dinner and just simply began. "How is your relationship with Jesus?" I asked. He started with "not as good as it should be" and then began to tell me about doubts he was having, that he believed in a creator but wasn't really sure about anything else, that there are a lot of other things out there.
I. was. devastated. This was not what I had expected. The tears began to fall as I tried to hold it together. I talked to him about the evidence of Christ and the testimony of His power in my life and the lives of others. He said he was still a moral person and I told him that only Jesus is good and it's only Him that makes us moral or good that without Him we are nothing. I can't remember all the things I said to him, I only know my heart ached for my boy, for his doubts, his lack of faith at this time in his life, for the consequences this would bring for him. I asked him if he would read "More Than a Carpenter" and he said that he would.
He hugged me and went to watch tv or something, I went upstairs and cried out to God. I asked at least 30 people I knew to pray for my son. The response from others was encouraging, there seemed to be a theme forming..."his faith", when he figures this out he will own his faith, it will be "his" faith, he will have no more doubts or fears, he will know and he will come out better on the other side. As his mother, I don't want him to suffer while he's going through this. But isn't that selfish thinking? God has a purpose and plan for him and it may indeed include some pain to mold him into who He wants him to become.
God gave me peace, an assurance that this does have a happy ending. God is faithful, God is trustworthy. And I trust Him.
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
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